We were bound to be killed, all because JH refused to wear the high-visibility jacket that I was offering him. Even though KT and I could be seen in our yellow regalia, it was really important that JH be visible too, not least because he rode at the back of our three-person bike. As the clouds darkened the route, and it started to pour, I regretted agreeing to travel from Perth to Edinburgh on this ludicrous form of transport.

At the cinema ticket desk I realised that I had brought no money, and I’d left my glasses at home. How would I get in to see the new Harry Potter film? Outside in the street I begged a pound coin from a posse of French tourists (in French) with the intention of phoning home to ask TPR to bring my purse and spectacles. Then I had a better idea of how to assemble enough cash to pay for a cinema ticket: rob a parking meter. I almost succeeded, but was caught by the cinema usherette who doubled as a traffic warden.