I only wanted to go up to the 7th floor in the hotel lift so what were we doing zipping into space Tardis-style to the 807th floor?

When I got home I found that my sister-in-law’s “looking after the house” routine included festooning all the radiators with her glamorous underwear.

Glad to be back in my own bed again I spotted that a large part of the bedroom wall had disappeared. The builder explained to me that the space was for a secret nursery, but was currently inhabited by dwarves.