Tag Archives: guest

Bathroom upgrade (Rousse)

TPR had been very busy in my absence. He’d plumbed in the two new bathroom suites, both of which were chunky white. He’d also started decorating both bathrooms in pale green colours. Our own bathroom – no longer en suite … Continue reading

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The hottest tickets in town (Rousse)

My former classmate, and erstwhile rock god, HJ battled his way past his excited fans to shake TPR’s hand and give me a massive hug. At 6’3″ he’d grown somewhat since I last saw him on the campus of the … Continue reading

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Princess Anne, a posh prat, polar bears, and perfume preferences (Rousse)

We’d all worked hard on the show for months. Even S played an active role, kindly agreeing to deliver the opening address. I did wonder, however, if she now regretted this offer given the fuss that I was making over … Continue reading

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The Emperor of China, Tom Forrest, an absent wife, and a widower (Rousse)

Ancient tradition in China required the donning of a long black robe (similar to an academic gown) whenever the emperor visited. Every day during my imprisonment I was on standby for this eventuality. Meanwhile I joined in with the activities … Continue reading

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Murderer serves lunch to transsexual surprise guest feet away from victim’s remains in biscuit tin (Rousse)

I planned X’s murder to coincide with his holiday. That way nobody would miss him when he didn’t turn up to work. While I deliberated over where to dump his body parts, I kept them in a small round red … Continue reading

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A dead grandmother, a muscular tramp, and a lost wallet (Rousse)

I spent the night before the dinner at my Granny T’s house. She was looking remarkably well – and indeed fashionable – for someone who had been dead for twenty years. On the evening of the big event itself I … Continue reading

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An audience with James Herriot (Rousse)

When I heard the exciting news that the guest speaker was James Herriot (or, more precisely, James Alfred Wight) I altered my plans so that I could stay a bit longer at Sighthill and meet the famous veterinary surgeon turned … Continue reading

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