Tag Archives: child

Drugs and death at Tesco (Rousse)

I needed drugs. TPR told me that we could buy them over the counter at the supermarket. I wasn’t too sure of this, but felt it was worth a try, so I followed him out of the door and along … Continue reading

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The sinister story behind Bye baby bunting (Rousse)

“So, contrary to popular belief Bye baby bunting is not a sweet lullaby, but instead a sinister account of child abuse at the hands of a trusted nursery nurse” concluded the speaker. The looks on my colleagues’ faces said it … Continue reading

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Skye tourist information exploits child slave labour (Rousse)

TPR and I had rented a cottage on the Isle of Skye, but had no idea where it was located. Lost on the outskirts of Portree a cheeky toddler called Mary led the way to our accommodation.

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Baby Yoda and the secret porn star (Rousse)

My friend A sat down next to me on the bus. It looked like he was carrying his son in his arms, but I couldn’t be certain that this was a human baby. The first strange thing about the child … Continue reading

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Ugly baby is an alien (Rousse)

I was left holding the baby, and what an ugly little creature it was. I wondered why its head was so floppy and its skin so slimy. Then it opened its mouth in an evil grin that revealed a full … Continue reading

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Harry Potter tattoos: the only clue to “Pedro’s” past (Rousse)

I lost TPR during the final stage of the long journey to the US aboard an ocean liner. Occasionally I would spot him in the distance across deck, usually driving one of the small open cars used for deliveries by … Continue reading

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A puffin child prodigy (Rousse)

Although I’d given up my gym membership long ago, from time to time I still popped into Virgin Active at Edinburgh’s Omni Centre. This was largely because I liked sitting in the café and pretending that it was my own … Continue reading

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Hugh Grant lookalike cited in affair accusations (Rousse)

I tried to work out why TPR and I were staying in this business hotel by peering at the badges of the other guests. One man appeared to be “the friendliest of the friendly”. This didn’t help, other than suggest … Continue reading

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A mismanaged meeting and three glug jugs (Rousse)

I raced as fast as I could to the meeting. AC and JB were in hot pursuit, not far behind me. As I suspected, the A6 to Penrith was closed so we had to take a quick diversion to reach … Continue reading

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Manners maketh man (Rousse)

I grabbed the child. If her mother was not going to teach her any manners, I would. She answered back “You sound just like FM. I’m not going to change.” “In that case you’ll end up an obnoxious, uncouth lump … Continue reading

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