Celebrities on Dreamaticus

We are grateful to our celebrity “friends” who make guest appearances or merit a mention at Dreamaticus, especially those who make frequent contributions to our revery. From presidents to porn stars, and drummers to divas, they are all here!

  1. Abba in Abba dancing disappointment (Rousse)
  2. Diane Abbott MP in Malcolm Bradbury and Diane Abbott predict the next bestseller (Rousse)
  3. Jacqui Abbott in Disney millionnaire discovers rare Morrissey album in Stockton-on-Tees (Rousse)
  4. Tony Adams in Belle falls in love
  5. Damon Albarn in Tweeting, blogging and all that comes between (Rousse)
  6. Brian Aldridge in Robot nurses, pastel ponies and a boob transplant (Belle)
  7. Jennifer Aldridge in Robot nurses, pastel ponies and a boob transplant (Belle)
  8. Ruaridh Aldridge in A stone age date with Ruaridh Aldridge (Rousse)
  9. Alice in Wonderland in Alice in Wonderland attraction (Rousse)
  10. Kingsley Amis in A frustrating author mix-up (Belle)
  11. Clive Anderson in Rousse misses Clive Anderson – just; Rousse makes her choice from the Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppets, Ruby Wax, and Clive Anderson
  12. Jean Anderson in A trip to the theatre and slunk economics (Belle)
  13. Junior Andre in Katie Price’s (aka Jordan) career on the conference circuit, and a life of crime in Australia (Rousse)
  14. Princess Andre in Katie Price’s (aka Jordan) career on the conference circuit, and a life of crime in Australia (Rousse)
  15. Prince Andrew in Secrets of the royal bride-to-be (not Kate Middleton, but Rousse); News of Michael Jackson’s death takes time to register back in the 1970s (Rousse)
  16. Anne of Green Gables in Nurse Belle of Green Gables
  17. Princess Anne in Grace van Cutsem at the royal wedding: Rousse sets the record straight; News of Michael Jackson’s death takes time to register back in the 1970s (Rousse)
  18. Tony Archer in Ambridge sensation: Pat Archer is “happy” (Rousse)
  19. Pat Archer in Ambridge sensation: Pat Archer is “happy” (Rousse)
  20. Archbishop of Canterbury in Archbishop of Canterbury reigns over Wembley and David Cameron settles into Edinburgh pied-à-terre (Rousse); Queen and Archbishop of Canterbury join forces to bless new university campus (Rousse)
  21. Struther Arnott in Rousse reviews the retired and retro
  22. Joan Armatrading in From Joan Armatrading discussions in Windermere to abandoned babies
  23. Simon Armitage in The forgotten poet (Belle); Cruising with the poets (Belle)
  24. Rowan Atkinson in Rowan Atkinson secrets overheard in hotel lift (Rousse)
  25. Jane Austen in Hugh Bonneville stars in Dreamaticus; Debbie Harry impersonator stars at isolated Yorkshire guest house (Rousse)
  26. David Baddiel in A kiss for David Baddiel (Rousse)
  27. Danny Baker in Belle makes Danny Baker laugh; Jools Holland, Danny Baker and strange events in London (Belle)
  28. Bilbo Baggins in Hobbit star turns her talents to Batman (Rousse)
  29. Stuart Baggs in Stuart Baggs is Rousse’s rebound husband disaster
  30. Batman in Hobbit star turns her talents to Batman (Rousse)
  31. Princess Beatrice in Grace van Cutsem at the royal wedding: Rousse sets the record straight
  32. Brooklyn Beckham in Travelling with Dr Who by submarine and rental car (Belle)
  33. David Beckham in Beckham rescues Rousse; Celebrities gather for the wedding of the three-way bride – with Prince William, the Charltons, and Elton John (Rousse); Beckham crisis for HRH Queen Elizabeth II (Rousse)
  34. Victoria Beckham in Victoria Beckham brightens Rousse’s conference woes; Victoria Beckham’s puppy (Rousse); Beckham crisis for HRH Queen Elizabeth II (Rousse); Traffic terror on the A1 and a reunion with the Spice Girls (Rousse)
  35. Ludwig van Beethoven in Sarah Millican breeds the Beetles with Beethoven (Rousse)
  36. The Beetles in Sarah Millican breeds the Beetles with Beethoven (Rousse)
  37. Lillian Bellamby in Reflections of the Archers love triangle in real life (Rousse)
  38. Tony Bennett in Lulu and Morrissey in surprising duet (Belle)
  39. Floella Benjamin in An unhappy house swap (Belle)
  40. Beowulf in A reunion with Gandalf, Dumbledore, Beowulf, and Basil Fawlty (Rousse); Afternoons in bed with Beowulf (Rousse)
  41. Mary Berry in Cake decoration disappointment (Belle)
  42. Chandler Bing in Rachel wins Ross back – again (Rousse)
  43. Blondie in Partying in the castle and tales of Blondie (Rousse)
  44. Heston Blumenthal in Let down by Heston Blumenthal (Belle)
  45. Gilbert Blythe in Nurse Belle of Green Gables
  46. James Bond in James Bond and a hand-knit metallic jumper surprise (Rousse)
  47. Hugh Bonneville in Hugh Bonneville stars in Dreamaticus and Hugh Bonneville hugs Belle
  48. David Bowie in The Glasgow School of Spelling, David Bowie, Andy Warhol, Limmy, and a retirement home for celebrities (Rousse); David Bowie’s alter ego commutes with child (Belle); Dinner with Bowie (Belle)
  49. Professor Sir Malcolm Bradbury in Malcolm Bradbury and Diane Abbott predict the next bestseller (Rousse)
  50. Melvyn Bragg in Melvyn Bragg’s editor, boasts about The Sound of Music, and other distractions keep Rousse away from class
  51. Kenneth Branagh in Kenneth Branagh plays homage to Sir Laurence Olivier, Shakespeare and Henry V (Rousse)
  52. Russell Brand in Belle’s random ramblings – with bonus Russell Brand; Russell Brand? No, Russell Grant (Belle)
  53. Richard Branson in Richard Branson and Rod Stewart keep Rousse company in economy
  54. Marcus Brigstocke in Marcus Brigstocke tour takes in the stationers (Rousse)
  55. Piers Brosnan in Shopping for Morrissey records with Piers Brosnan (Belle)
  56. Gordon Brown in Gordon Brown in the background while Rousse begs bags for belongings
  57. Basil Brush in Roman latrines, Basil Brush, memorials for loved ones, and a bargain taxi fare (Rousse)
  58. Rob Brydon in Matt LeBlanc meets Rob Brydon (Rousse); Rob Brydon’s second mother (Rousse); Rob Brydon and Sarah Millican top Rousse’s bill
  59. Bubbles in A sequel to The Wire with bonus Barbra Streisand (Belle)
  60. Phoebe Buffay in Rachel wins Ross back – again (Rousse)
  61. Richard Burton in Elizabeth Taylor’s multiple husbands not unique (Rousse)
  62. Nicolas Cage in Mia Farrow generously shares Nicolas Cage and Jack Nicholson with Rousse
  63. David Cameron in Archbishop of Canterbury reigns over Wembley and David Cameron settles into Edinburgh pied-à-terre (Rousse); David Cameron’s seven-pack centrefold plus numerous other adventures, including one at Buckingham Palace (Rousse); Ed Milliband deposes David Cameron in commons revolt (Rousse); David Cameron brought low by Belle
  64. Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall in Duchess of Cornwall and the Queen share a drink (Belle); Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall – taxi driver (Rousse)
  65. Nicky Campbell in Nicky Campbell and graphic design with a message (Belle)
  66. Matt Cardle in Matt Cardle asks for help (Belle)
  67. Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge (see also Kate Middleton below) in Grace van Cutsem at the royal wedding: Rousse sets the record straight; Changing of the bride at Buckingham Palace (Rousse); Kate shops at Topshop (Rousse)
  68. Rosemary Chalmers (Simpsons character) in Simpsons character unleashes latest computer virus (Rousse)
  69. Prince Charles in Secrets of the royal bride-to-be (not Kate Middleton, but Rousse); News of Michael Jackson’s death takes time to register back in the 1970s (Rousse)
  70. Charles II in Rousse withholds confectionery and debates fun at work; Housework versus helicopter trip: a courtier of Charles II helps Rousse decide; Mid-afternoon okey cokey fun ruined by Restoration battle vandal (Rousse)
  71. Bobby Charlton in Celebrities gather for the wedding of the three-way bride – with Prince William, the Charltons, and Elton John (Rousse)
  72. Jackie Charlton in Celebrities gather for the wedding of the three-way bride – with Prince William, the Charltons, and Elton John (Rousse)
  73. Chewbacca in Hairy Star Wars sidekick Chewbacca comes to take Rousse home
  74. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang in Ramona Marquez stars as Jordan in birthday biopic (Rousse)
  75. Winston Churchill in Belle learns the law but is slow to get the joke; Sir Winston Churchill’s memorial statue signer (Rousse)
  76. Eric Clapton in Eric Clapton, his girlfriend, and the sea monster (Rousse)
  77. Julian Clary in Julian Clary, seals, and a dolphin on the Isle of Harris (Rousse)
  78. Nick Clegg in Clegg house fire (Rousse)
  79. George Clooney in George Clooney autograph bonanza (Rousse); George Clooney charms Edinburgh (Rousse)
  80. Glenn Close in Glenn Close, knowledge management, and an over-committed academic (Rousse)
  81. Cheryl Cole in Simon Cowell, Cheryl Cole and Gillian McKeith disappoint (Rousse)
  82. Phil Collins in Phil Collins frightened (Rousse)
  83. Sir Sean Connery in Sir Sean Connery and Simon Cowell appalled by aging actress’ wig (Rousse)
  84. Billy Connolly in Billy Connolly and his kids trick tourists while the Queen keeps track of village crime (Rousse)
  85. Ronnie Corbett in Ronnie Corbett and Helen Mirren to star in Four weddings remake (Rousse)
  86. James Corden in James Corden, Johnny Vegas, and a couple of neglected twins (Rousse)
  87. Billy Corkhill in A scouse wedding – but not to Paul Merton (Belle)
  88. Corky and the Juice Pigs in Men with guns in shopping mall (Rousse)
  89. Elvis Costello in Elvis Costello and Libby Purves forced to share scant office space at the BBC (Rousse)
  90. Noël Coward in Noël Coward’s sick sense of humour and fridges full of carcasses (Rousse)
  91. Simon Cowell in Simon Cowell, Cheryl Cole and Gillian McKeith disappoint (Rousse); Simon Cowell and Outlook calendar chaos (Rousse); Sir Sean Connery and Simon Cowell appalled by aging actress’ wig (Rousse); A record deal with Simon Cowell (Rousse); Bilingual pre-school songstress wows Simon Cowell (Rousse)
  92. Courtney Cox in Bob Dylan’s secret muse (Rousse)
  93. Ian Craig in Marrying a fictional gay chef (Belle)
  94. Matt Crawford in Reflections of the Archers love triangle in real life (Rousse)
  95. Tom Cruise in Tom Cruise seeks relationship advice and attempts to convert Rousse at restaurant; Tom Cruise manoeuvres to reach Hexham in a hurry (Rousse)
  96. Benedict Cumberbatch in ‘Sherlock’ at the fish Olympics (Belle)
  97. Tony Curtis and the world’s least imaginative quiche (Belle)
  98. Sinéad Cusack in Good enough for Sting and Trudie, Jeremy and Sinéad, and even the Queen – but not good enough for Rousse
  99. Peter Cushing in This charming man – Belle
  100. St Cuthbert in Ab Fab’s Patsy Stone meets St Edwin Lutyens (Rousse)
  101. President Wensley Dale in A difficult climb half dressed (Belle)
  102. Tess Daly in Vernon Kay, Tess Daly and a mouse (Belle)
  103. Oswald Danes in Oswald Danes plies an evil trade in Edinburgh (Rousse)
  104. Darth Vader in Rousse’s Darth Vader impersonation reaps rewards
  105. John Darwin in The mystery of canoe man John Darwin’s lottery win (Rousse)
  106. Phil Davis in Time travel to the 1960s, a meeting with Phil Davis, and a stolen bracelt (Rousse)
  107. Bette Davis in Judge Judy and some Hollywood greats (Belle)
  108. Sammy Davis Junior in On the tiles with Sammy Davis Jr (Belle)
  109. Doris Day in Streisand marries Nolte – and Palin! (Belle)
  110. Dead Cat Bounce in Men with guns in shopping mall (Rousse)
  111. Jack Dee in Jack Dee gets the giggles with Rousse in the shower; Jack Dee, school girls in gingham blouses, and dental floss (Rousse)
  112. Johnny Depp in Johnny Depp’s pseudonym (Belle); Johnny Depp at the FA cup final (Belle)
  113. Didier Deschamps in Didier Deschamps: another fake football boyfriend (Belle)
  114. Diana, Princess of Wales in Belle cooks Rousse’s bacon and applauds Princess Diana; Rousse’s new best friend is Princess Diana; New Diana revelations, courtesy of Ian Hislop (Rousse)
  115. Charles Dickens in Belle’s busy night; Charles Dickens meets Strictly Come Dancing and the X Factor (Belle); Charles Dickens’ wife ponders the impracticalities of the Victorian sex scene (Rousse)
  116. Dire Straits in Sting beats Mick Jagger in conversation competition (Rousse)
  117. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle in Belle beats Conan Doyle
  118. Charlie Drake in Security enforcement with Charlie Drake and sliding with Suggs (Belle)
  119. Don Draper in Trop Belle pour moi
  120. Duke of Northumberland in Lost Shakespeare play: Rousse plays the leading lady
  121. Dumbledore in A reunion with Gandalf, Dumbledore, Beowulf, and Basil Fawlty (Rousse)
  122. Duran Duran in Duran Duran and a new TV detective drama (Rousse)
  123. Bob Dylan in Bob Dylan’s secret muse (Rousse)
  124. Prince Edward in Secrets of the royal bride-to-be (not Kate Middleton, but Rousse)
  125. Elbow in A glimpse of summer and fears of infection (Rousse)
  126. Elizabeth II in Queen cuts down official duties (Rousse); Duchess of Cornwall and the Queen share a drink (Belle); Good enough for Sting and Trudie, Jeremy and Sinéad, and even the Queen – but not good enough for Rousse; Grace van Cutsem at the royal wedding: Rousse sets the record straight; Queen meets her great-great grandmother in holographic form (Rousse); Queen and Archbishop of Canterbury join forces to bless new university campus (Rousse); Queen and Duke of Edinburgh spend Christmas with commoners in Northumberland (Rousse); Billy Connolly and his kids trick tourists while the Queen keeps track of village crime (Rousse)
  127. Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother in A bike and a beach hut at the Queen Mother’s funeral (Rousse)
  128. Rupert Everett in Failed dirty weekend with UK’s leading homosexual (Belle)
  129. Marianne Faithful in Belle is an expert on sixties singers
  130. The Farmer’s Boys in Bonding with Radcliffe and Maconie over the Farmer’s Boys and the BBC (Rousse)
  131. Mia Farrow in Mia Farrow generously shares Nicolas Cage and Jack Nicholson with Rousse
  132. Basil Fawlty in A reunion with Gandalf, Dumbledore, Beowulf, and Basil Fawlty (Rousse)
  133. Sir Alex Ferguson in Rousse’s trip to Spain uncovers NHS zombie and Sir Alex Ferguson’s secret chateau
  134. Frank Ferrer in Guns, roses, a trouser press and trains (Rousse)
  135. Laurence Fishburne in Going underground with Laurence Fishburne (Belle)
  136. Ella Fitzgerald in Bilingual pre-school songstress wows Simon Cowell (Rousse)
  137. Harrison Ford in A new job in football, the tardis, and a night with Harrison Ford (Belle)
  138. Bruce Forsyth in Bruce Forsyth’s competition (Rousse); Barber Bruce Forsyth (Rousse)
  139. Dawn French in Rousse misses Clive Anderson – just
  140. Stephen Fry in Belle practises party pyrotechnics, almost with Stephen Fry; Stephen Fry and other uninvited guests (Rousse); Stephen Fry scoffs (Rousse); Stephen Fry saves the world (Belle); Stephen Fry gone in a Wispa (Rousse)
  141. Clark Gable in Judge Judy and some Hollywood greats (Belle)
  142. Lady Gaga in Angela Lansbury’s handbag and Lady Gaga’s wig (Belle)
  143. Galen in Hugh Bonneville stars in Dreamaticus
  144. Judy Garland in Judy Garland learner driver (Rousse)
  145. Graeme Garden in Graeme Garden’s elasticated stockings and a railway car chase (Rousse)
  146. Gandalf in A reunion with Gandalf, Dumbledore, Beowulf, and Basil Fawlty (Rousse)
  147. Alan Garner in Alan Garner time travels (Belle)
  148. Jane Garvey in Jane Garvey lies about her student days (Rousse); Jane Garvey acrobat commentary, bad taste in clothes, and slum living (Rousse)
  149. Monica Geller in Rachel wins Ross back – again (Rousse)
  150. Ross Geller in Rachel wins Ross back – again (Rousse)
  151. Mahatma Ghandi in A new leader for the Labour party and a mouthful of “worms” (Belle)
  152. Gilbert and George in A visit to Gilbert and George’s pizzeria (Belle)
  153. Marco Giovino in Shall I stay or shall I go now? (Rousse)
  154. God in God, fish, chips and helping out Rousse
  155. Whoopi Goldberg in Whoopi Goldberg party guest (Rousse)
  156. Gollum in Legacy of Lord of the Rings – will Gollum make adulthood unscathed? (Rousse)
  157. Cary Grant in TV crew trapped in Cary Grant’s Bristol dining room (Rousse)
  158. Hugh Grant in Hugh Grant lookalike lost in the US (Rousse); Ditching a Hugh Grant lookalike leads to divorce disaster number 2 (Rousse); Hugh Grant lookalike cited in affair accusations (Rousse); A charmed life working for Gary Linker and sleeping with Hugh Grant (Rousse)
  159. Russell Grant in Russell Brand? No, Russell Grant (Belle)
  160. Sheila Grant in A scouse wedding – but not to Paul Merton (Belle)
  161. Andy Gray in Andy Gray takes to the stage in Kev F Sutherland’s latest show (Rousse)
  162. Rachel Green in Rachel wins Ross back – again (Rousse)
  163. Rupert Grint in Time-travelling Rupert Grint (as Ron Weasley) greets Rousse in the Kingdom of Fife; Chasing Rupert Grint in the dark (Rousse)
  164. Clarrie Grundy in Clarrie Grundy falls victim to loan shark (Rousse)
  165. Ed Grundy in Amorous Archers intentions (Belle)
  166. Derek Guyler in A priest, a policeman, and a haunted motorbike (Belle)
  167. Brian Hall in Commuting by “Fawlty Towers” ocean liner (Belle)
  168. Rolf Harris in Rolf Harris mon amour (Belle)
  169. Prince Harry in Secrets of the royal bride-to-be (not Kate Middleton, but Rousse); At school with Prince Harry (Belle); Harry the photographer prince (Rousse)
  170. Debbie Harry in Debbie Harry impersonator stars at isolated Yorkshire guest house (Rousse)
  171. Miss Haversham in Miss Haversham awaits her husband while Rousse loses hers
  172. Marie Helvin in Marie Helvin shops for shoes (Rousse)
  173. Henry V in Kenneth Branagh plays homage to Sir Laurence Olivier, Shakespeare and Henry V (Rousse)
  174. Henry VIII in Belle’s busy night; Bedroom design ideas (Rousse)
  175. Lennie Henry in Belle and Lennie Henry
  176. Herman and the Hermits in Herman’s hermits’ secret identity (Rousse)
  177. Nick Hewer in Nick Hewer waves off candidate for china restoration and robot building roles (Rousse)
  178. Dave Hill in Slade original line-up is back on the road again (Rousse)
  179. Melanie Hill in A scouse wedding – but not to Paul Merton (Belle)
  180. Ian Hislop in New Diana revelations, courtesy of Ian Hislop (Rousse)
  181. Noddy Holder in Slade original line-up is back on the road again (Rousse)
  182. Jools Holland in Jools Holland, Danny Baker and strange events in London (Belle)
  183. Alan Hollinghurst in Alan Hollinghurst leads double life as computing lecturer (Rousse)
  184. Katie Holmes in Tom Cruise seeks relationship advice and attempts to convert Rousse at restaurant
  185. Sherlock Holmes in ‘Sherlock’ at the fish Olympics (Belle)
  186. Captain Hook in A crocodile in Edinburgh (Rousse)
  187. Whitney Houston in Tesco domination (Rousse)
  188. Sean Hughes in Rousse’s reunion
  189. Kate Humble in Kate Humble sets up brewing business (Rousse)
  190. Jeremy Irons in Good enough for Sting and Trudie, Jeremy and Sinéad, and even the Queen – but not good enough for Rousse
  191. Michael Jackson in News of Michael Jackson’s death takes time to register back in the 1970s (Rousse)
  192. Mick Jagger in Mick Jagger’s rucksack (Rousse); Mick Jagger tops celebrity guest list at Pope’s parade (Rousse); Sting beats Mick Jagger in conversation competition (Rousse)
  193. David Jason in David Jason hides in car boot (Rousse)
  194. Ron Jeremy in Mark Kermode does a runner (Belle)
  195. Elton John in Fashion must-haves: white shorts, a purple cape and a supply of knickers, plus Elton John (Rousse); Mention of Elton John and exotic work trips sets off swoon (Rousse); Elton John and the transsexual mother-of-the-bride (Rousse); Elton John’s red and white singalong at Covent Garden (Rousse)
  196. Boris Johnson in Boris Johnson’s PhD (Rousse)
  197. Indiana Jones in From Molière to Indiana Jones: the dramas of Rousse continue
  198. Sir Mark Jones in Redundancies at the V&A and a pair of curious twins (Rousse)
  199. Angelina Jolie in Angelina Jolie spotted by nobody but Rousse, an unplanned pregnancy and Lenten gifts; Brad Pitt tattoos his forehead in latest celebrity revelation (Rousse)
  200. Jordan – see Katie Price (below)
  201. Josie and the Pussycats in Belle fakes expertise
  202. Judge Judy in Judge Judy and some Hollywood greats (Belle)
  203. Alex Kapranos in Alex Kapranos’ baby (Rousse)
  204. Vernon Kay in Vernon Kay, Tess Daly and a mouse (Belle)
  205. Mark Kermode in Mark Kermode does a runner (Belle) and Mark Kermode, spy school and beetroot salad; A fortune in apps, Mark Kermode and Andy Warhol (Belle)
  206. Gustav Klimt in The dangers of Internet shopping (Belle)
  207. Ricki Lake in Ricki Lake, weight loss, and an over-zealous patrol man (Rousse)
  208. Brian Lang in Rousse reviews the retired and retro
  209. Angela Lansbury in Angela Lansbury’s handbag and Lady Gaga’s wig (Belle)
  210. Lassie in Old records, new media and Lassie (Belle)
  211. Andrew Lawrence in Andrew Lawrence, the Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre, a stranded bride, and the ruler of the universe (Rousse)
  212. Nigella Lawson in Nigella Lawson versus Gordon Ramsey, and information retrieval with Winnie the Pooh (Rousse); Nigella Lawson’s fairy cakes (Rousse)
  213. Simon le Bon in Duran Duran and a new TV detective drama (Rousse); Simon Le Bon leaves Yasmin and takes new lover to Aberdeen caravan hideaway (Rousse)
  214. Yasmin Le Bon in Simon Le Bon leaves Yasmin and takes new lover to Aberdeen caravan hideaway (Rousse)
  215. Matt LeBlanc in Matt LeBlanc promotes Episodes by signing autographs and decorating a cake at Chateau Impney (Rousse); Matt LeBlanc meets Rob Brydon (Rousse)
  216. Stewart Lee in Rousse in the rain
  217. Brian Limond (Limmy) in The Glasgow School of Spelling, David Bowie, Andy Warhol, Limmy, and a retirement home for celebrities (Rousse)
  218. Gary Lineker in A charmed life working for Gary Linker and sleeping with Hugh Grant (Rousse)
  219. Carl Linnaeus (Carl von Linné) in Graffiti vandal cites Linnaeus Species Plantarum (1753) as defence (Rousse)
  220. Lulu in Lulu and Morrissey in surprising duet (Belle); Lulu in London (Belle)
  221. Sir Edwin Lutyens in in Ab Fab’s Patsy Stone meets Sir Edwin Lutyens (Rousse)
  222. Brendan Lynch in Redundancies at the Great British Bake Off (Belle)
  223. Dame Vera Lynn in Rousse marries
  224. Lady Claire Macdonald in Macdonald clan secrets (Rousse)
  225. Lord Godfrey Macdonald in Macdonald clan secrets (Rousse)
  226. Hugh MacLeod of MacLeod in An appointment on the Isle of Skye with Hugh MacLeod of MacLeod (Rousse)
  227. Stuart Maconie in Mark Radcliffe missing, Stuart Maconie scared (Rousse); Bonding with Radcliffe and Maconie over the Farmer’s Boys and the BBC (Rousse); Stuart Maconie radio chef (Rousse)
  228. Madonna in Madonna’s lentil stores (Belle)
  229. Eddie Mair in Sting beats Mick Jagger in conversation competition (Rousse)
  230. Nelson Mandela in Nelson Mandela a surprise breakfast guest (Belle)
  231. Peter Mandelson in Peter Mandelson and the Labour party lodge at Belle’s B&B
  232. Barry Manilow in Stolen sausages and Barry Manilow (Belle)
  233. Bob Marley in A greedy wife (Rousse)
  234. Ramona Marquez in Ramona Marquez stars as Jordan in birthday biopic (Rousse)
  235. Guy Masterson in Guy Masterson and the Turkish conference groper (Rousse)
  236. Davina McCall in Poetry, romance and messy bathrooms (Belle)
  237. Sir Paul McCartney in Twentieth century icons AJP Taylor and Paul McCartney keep Rousse amused; Sir Paul McCartney in stand-off with serial adulterer (Rousse); A missed appointment with Paul McCartney (Rousse); Sir Paul McCartney sings for the information science community (Rousse)
  238. Kevin McCloud in Kevin McCloud advises Rousse on housing law
  239. Roddy McDowell in Hugh Bonneville stars in Dreamaticus
  240. Michael McIntyre in Sorry Michael McIntyre, never seen you (Rousse)
  241. Gillian McKeith in Simon Cowell, Cheryl Cole and Gillian McKeith disappoint (Rousse)
  242. Alex McLeish in Alex McLeish relishes driving role while Rousse prepares for her test and Rousse’s trip to Spain uncovers NHS zombie and Sir Alex Ferguson’s secret chateau
  243. Tom McNair in Tom McNair’s coffee morning werewolf competition (Rousse)
  244. Scott McNealy in Scott McNealy continues to charm (Rousse)
  245. George Melly in Improvised jazz George Melly style, and a nightie (Belle)
  246. Paul Merton in A scouse wedding – but not to Paul Merton (Belle)
  247. George Michael in A lack of stemware, a missing husband, and a woman obsessed with Wham! (Rousse); George Michael’s eyes (Rousse)
  248. Kate Middleton (see also Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, above) in Belle’s bare bottom beauties; Kate Middleton – Belle’s new best friend; Secrets of the royal bride-to-be (not Kate Middleton, but Rousse); Secret military airbase at Edinburgh airport harbours unexpected relations (Rousse)
  249. Pippa Middleton in Grace van Cutsem at the royal wedding: Rousse sets the record straight
  250. Cesar Millan in Belle’s busy night
  251. Ed Milliband in Ed Milliband deposes David Cameron in commons revolt (Rousse)
  252. Sarah Millican in Rob Brydon and Sarah Millican top Rousse’s bill; Sarah Millican breeds the Beetles with Beethoven (Rousse)
  253. Helen Mirren in Ronnie Corbett and Helen Mirren to star in Four weddings remake (Rousse)
  254. David Mitchell in An afternoon with David Mitchell (Rousse); David Mitchell’s photography one-upmanship lands university professor in trouble (Rousse); David Mitchell’s ancestors and Rabelais (Rousse)
  255. Victoria Coren Mitchell in David Mitchell’s ancestors and Rabelais (Rousse)
  256. Molière in From Molière to Indiana Jones: the dramas of Rousse continue
  257. The Monkees in Belle holidays with the Monkees
  258. The Moomins in Moomin office delight (Rousse)
  259. Paul Morgan in Reflections of the Archers love triangle in real life (Rousse)
  260. David Morrisey in David Morrissey spreads gossip (Belle); Messy David Morrissey (Belle)
  261. Neil Morrissey in A scouse wedding – but not to Paul Merton (Belle)
  262. (Steven) Morrissey in Lulu and Morrissey in surprising duet (Belle); A mention of Morrissey and Rousse recruits another Facebook stalker; Disney millionnaire discovers rare Morrissey album in Stockton-on-Tees (Rousse); Morrissey ambition achieved (Rousse); Shopping for Morrissey records with Piers Brosnan (Belle)
  263. Carey Mulligan in Carey Mulligan singalike goes incognito in Paisley (Rousse)
  264. Olivia Newton-John in Stolen sausages and Barry Manilow (Belle); Tom Cruise seeks relationship advice and attempts to convert Rousse at restaurant
  265. Jack Nicholson in Mia Farrow generously shares Nicolas Cage and Jack Nicholson with Rousse
  266. Nick Nolte in Streisand marries Nolte – and Palin! (Belle)
  267. Peter Noone in Herman’s hermits’ secret identity (Rousse)
  268. Barack Obama in Tesco domination (Rousse); Belle goes Dutch with Obama; Obama announces spending freeze (Rousse)
  269. Malia Obama in The Obamas admire Belle’s dog
  270. Michelle Obama in The Obamas admire Belle’s dog
  271. Sasha Obama in The Obamas admire Belle’s dog
  272. Tom O’Connor in Tom O’Connor deplored (Rousse)
  273. Sir Laurence Olivier in Kenneth Branagh plays homage to Sir Laurence Olivier, Shakespeare and Henry V (Rousse)
  274. George Orwell in George Orwell festival on the south bank (Belle)
  275. George Osbourne in Archbishop of Canterbury reigns over Wembley and David Cameron settles into Edinburgh pied-à-terre (Rousse)
  276. Richard Osman in Richard Osman: unrequired love, unwanted sprouts (Belle)
  277. Chris Packham in Will Belle’s birds bring Chris Packham?
  278. Michael Palin in Streisand marries Nolte – and Palin! (Belle)
  279. Sarah Jessica Parker in Sarah Jessica Parker picks Belle’s pocket
  280. Andy Parsons in Andy Parsons turns to kids’ comedy at the Edinburgh Fringe (Rousse)
  281. Dolly Parton in Dolly Parton and a Swiss rail travel mishap (Rousse)
  282. John Peel in Death au John Peel (Rousse); John Peel returns (Rousse)
  283. Pet Shop Boys in Pet Shops Boys lose their crown to brainy guitar duo (Rousse)
  284. Peppa Pig in Peppa Pig, toast, and extreme sports in the Hebrides
  285. Grayson Perry in Belle is an expert on sixties singers
  286. Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh in Queen and Duke of Edinburgh spend Christmas with commoners in Northumberland (Rousse)
  287. Miss Piggy in Miss Piggy’s magic stilletoes (Belle); Miss Piggy’s plastic surgery and GCHQ’s latest discovery (Rousse)
  288. Pink Floyd in Pink Floyd drives Rousse to work at home; Single bed shocker (Rousse)
  289. Brad Pitt in Brad Pitt’s underpants (Belle); Brad Pitt’s summer secrets (Rousse); Brad Pitt tattoos his forehead in latest celebrity revelation (Rousse)
  290. Oscar Pistorius in Prosthetic limbs, a party, and a professor (Rousse)
  291. Robert Plant in Shall I stay or shall I go now? (Rousse)
  292. Hercule Poirot in Poirot’s invisible sidekick (Belle)
  293. The Police in Sting beats Mick Jagger in conversation competition (Rousse)
  294. Winnie the Pooh in Nigella Lawson versus Gordon Ramsey, and information retrieval with Winnie the Pooh (Rousse)
  295. Pope Benedict XVI in Mick Jagger tops celebrity guest list at Pope’s parade (Rousse)
  296. The Police in Drunk Police fan and dead grandmother responsible for multiple car crashes (Rousse)
  297. Harry Potter in Harry Potter almost messes up Rousse’s travel plans to King’s Cross; Regrets of Mrs Harry Potter (Rousse); Harry Potter and the Black Knight (Rousse)
  298. Katie Price in Ramona Marquez stars as Jordan in birthday biopic (Rousse); Jordan spotted “snogging” mystery hunk (Rousse); Katie Price’s (aka Jordan) career on the conference circuit, and a life of crime in Australia (Rousse); Jordan heart attack scare (Rousse); Katie Price hunts for husband number 8 (Rousse)
  299. Vincent Price in Vincent Price gun-play and spaghetti hoops (Belle); A fruity evening with Vincent Price (Belle)
  300. Libby Purves in Elvis Costello and Libby Purves forced to share scant office space at the BBC (Rousse)
  301. Mark Radcliffe in Radcliffe (but no Maconie), a land-based submarine, and an invitation to Disneyland (Rousse); Mark Radcliffe missing, Stuart Maconie scared (Rousse); Bonding with Radcliffe and Maconie over the Farmer’s Boys and the BBC (Rousse)
  302. Gordon Ramsey in Nigella Lawson versus Gordon Ramsey, and information retrieval with Winnie the Pooh (Rousse)
  303. Ian Rankin in A day out with Ian Rankin (Rousse); Ian Rankin’s muse (Rousse)
  304. Gary Richardson in Gary Richardson guides Rousse home
  305. Andrew Ridgeley in A lack of stemware, a missing husband, and a woman obsessed with Wham! (Rousse)
  306. Tom Robinson in A weight-busting walk to Tom Robinson’s Stokesley (Rousse)
  307. Winifred Robinson in Time travel by train and a deadly secret unveiled (Rousse)
  308. The Rolling Stones in Belle is an expert on sixties singers
  309. Wayne Rooney in Alien invasion includes Wayne Rooney (Rousse)
  310. Axl Rose in Guns, roses, a trouser press and trains (Rousse)
  311. Jonathan Ross in Jonathan Ross’ theatre date and a threat of war in Edinburgh (Rousse); The shame of Jonathan Ross’ brother’s criminal career (Rousse)
  312. JK Rowling in JK Rowling’s cot death charity competition and the Scottish slave trade (Rousse); JK Rowling extends her estate (Rousse); Lord Alan Sugar’s babysitter and JK Rowling’s secret (Rousse); JK Rowling’s new book (Rousse); JK Rowling bakes a mean meringue (Rousse); A personal invitation from JK Rowling to PotterLand (Rousse)
  313. Andre Royo in A sequel to The Wire with bonus Barbra Streisand (Belle)
  314. Alex Salmond in Dogs and dolphins to support Scottish independence bid (Rousse)
  315. Julian Sands in Julian sands – “lady doctor” (Belle)
  316. Sarah, Duchess of York, in Hunting for Sarah, Duchess of York, in Rhyl, on a spacehopper (Rousse)
  317. Jimmy Savile in Jimmy Savile shocker (Rousse)
  318. Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre in A bendy bus trip to Diagon Alley but Harry Potter is nowhere to be seen; Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet history lesson (Rousse); Selling tickets at the Fringe and shooting woodcock in the Borders (Rousse); A library, two socks, and a London bus (Rousse); Rousse makes her choice from the Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppets, Ruby Wax, and Clive Anderson; Jonathan Ross’ theatre date and a threat of war in Edinburgh (Rousse); Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre to solve all our problems (Rousse); Selling hosiery with a difference (Rousse); Planning a party and pilfering pains au chocolat (Rousse); Stocking-masked criminal and canine sidekick despatched into the night (Rousse); Puppet maker passenger puts her trust in the professor (Rousse); Andrew Lawrence, the Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre, a stranded bride, and the ruler of the universe (Rousse); A catering nightmare with Ambrosia Devon custard (Rousse)
  319. Natasha Scribbins in The Apprentice’s Natasha Scribbins vainly attempts to save Rousse from expenses claim hell
  320. William Shakespeare in The book (section) thief (Rousse); Kenneth Branagh plays homage to Sir Laurence Olivier, Shakespeare and Henry V (Rousse); Shakespeare and astrophysics for lunch (Rousse)
  321. John Simm in Kevin McCloud advises Rousse on housing law
  322. The Simpsons in A campus love affair rudely interrupted, and a seaside crime (Rousse); Mark Zuckerberg vents anger at Harvard in Simpsons episode (Rousse)
  323. Bart Simpson in Belle lives at the shops
  324. Siouxsie Sioux in How not to dress like Siouxsie Sioux (Rousse)
  325. Slade in Slade original line-up is back on the road again (Rousse)
  326. The Smiths in Smiths fans reveal enthusiasm for music, whisky and roll-ups (Rousse)
  327. Matt Smith in Matt Smith speaks at Aberdeen information science conference (Rousse)
  328. Dame Maggie Smith in Lamb stew, jelly sweets, and a yellow makeover (Belle)
  329. Tony Soprano in Sopranos and chips (Belle)
  330. Edmund Spenser in Faerie Queene revision strategy (Rousse)
  331. The Spice Girls in Traffic terror on the A1 and a reunion with the Spice Girls (Rousse)
  332. Bruce Springsteen in Bob Dylan’s secret muse (Rousse)
  333. Squeeze in Sting beats Mick Jagger in conversation competition (Rousse)
  334. Gertrude Stein in Belle’s busy night
  335. Patrick Stewart in A new job at the University of East Anglia (Rousse)
  336. Rod Stewart in Richard Branson and Rod Stewart keep Rousse company in economy
  337. Sting in Good enough for Sting and Trudie, Jeremy and Sinéad, and even the Queen – but not good enough for Rousse; Sting serenades Belle (Rousse); Sting beats Mick Jagger in conversation competition (Rousse)
  338. Patsy Stone in Ab Fab’s Patsy Stone meets Sir Edwin Lutyens (Rousse)
  339. Barbra Streisand in A sequel to The Wire with bonus Barbra Streisand (Belle); Streisand marries Nolte – and Palin! (Belle)
  340. Trudie Styler in Good enough for Sting and Trudie, Jeremy and Sinéad, and even the Queen – but not good enough for Rousse
  341. Lord Alan Sugar in Lord Sugar’s new apprentice discovers his more modest and softer side (Rousse); Lord Alan Sugar’s babysitter and JK Rowling’s secret (Rousse); Nick Hewer waves off candidate for china restoration and robot building roles (Rousse)
  342. Suggs in Security enforcement with Charlie Drake and sliding with Suggs (Belle)
  343. Kev F Sutherland in Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet history lesson (Rousse); Selling tickets at the Fringe and shooting woodcock in the Borders (Rousse); A library, two socks, and a London bus (Rousse); Jonathan Ross’ theatre date and a threat of war in Edinburgh (Rousse); Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre to solve all our problems (Rousse); School reunion imposter unmasked in Yorkshire (Rousse); Andy Gray takes to the stage in Kev F Sutherland’s latest show (Rousse); A catering nightmare with Ambrosia Devon custard (Rousse)
  344. Gloria Swanson in Gloria Swanson and unnecessary help with a literature review (Rousse)
  345. Take That in Walking in Glencoe bereft of map and boots, but with Take That (Rousse)
  346. AJP Taylor in Twentieth century icons AJP Taylor and Paul McCartney keep Rousse amused
  347. Elizabeth Taylor in Elizabeth Taylor’s multiple husbands not unique (Rousse)
  348. David Tennant in The Doctor will NOT be with Belle shortly; David Tennant returns as Dr Who (Rousse); David Tennant dons disguise for Dr Who day visits (Rousse)
  349. Mrs Thatcher in Mrs Thatcher mystery solved (Rousse)
  350. JRR Tolkien in Lord Alan Sugar’s babysitter and JK Rowling’s secret (Rousse)
  351. Russell Tovey in Russell Tovey and the two-timing twizzler (Belle)
  352. Joey Tribbiani in Rachel wins Ross back – again (Rousse)
  353. Mike Tucker in Belle takes a walk and slaves for a toddler
  354. Sam Tyler in in Kevin McCloud advises Rousse on housing law
  355. Grace van Cutsem in Grace van Cutsem at the royal wedding: Rousse sets the record straight
  356. Johnny Vegas in James Corden, Johnny Vegas, and a couple of neglected twins (Rousse)
  357. Jack Vettriano in A Jack Vettriano original (Rousse)
  358. Queen Victoria in Queen meets her great-great grandmother in holographic form (Rousse); Queen Victoria: stony history tutor (Rousse)
  359. Vera Wang in Crime by letters and Vera Wang (Rousse)
  360. Andy Warhol in The Glasgow School of Spelling, David Bowie, Andy Warhol, Limmy, and a retirement home for celebrities (Rousse); A fortune in apps, Mark Kermode and Andy Warhol (Belle)
  361. Evelyn Waugh in Translating Evelyn Waugh (Rousse)
  362. Ruby Wax in Rousse makes her choice from the Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppets, Ruby Wax, and Clive Anderson
  363. Arthur Weasley in Young “Arthur Weasley” assists in railway murder hunt (Rousse)
  364. Ron Weasley and his brothers in Time-travelling Rupert Grint (as Ron Weasley) greets Rousse in the Kingdom of Fife
  365. Paul Weller in An audience with Paul Weller (Rousse)
  366. Dominic West in Belle the economist, detective, and pornographer
  367. Kevin Whately in Recreational drugs, a sleep-over, and Kevin Whately (Rousse)
  368. Dr Who in Working hard with a sore arm and no iPod (Belle); Dr Who rescues Rousse; Dr Who trumps wedding plans (Rousse); New canoe-carrying Dr Who takes to the Tardis (Rousse)
  369. Ann Widdecombe in On the tiles with Sammy Davis Jr (Belle)
  370. Prince William in Belle’s bare bottom beauties; Secrets of the royal bride-to-be (not Kate Middleton, but Rousse); Celebrities gather for the wedding of the three-way bride – with Prince William, the Charltons, and Elton John (Rousse); Grace van Cutsem at the royal wedding: Rousse sets the record straight; Postcards to Prince William, a rat in the office and in-flight washing facilities (Rousse); Changing of the bride at Buckingham Palace (Rousse); Prince William cliff jumps in Hastings (Rousse)
  371. Mark Williams in Young “Arthur Weasley” assists in railway murder hunt (Rousse)
  372. The Winklevoss twins in A failed attempt to win over the Winklevoss twins (Rousse)
  373. Norman Wisdom in Just an ordinary day walking the dog and calling in at the pub (Belle)
  374. Terry Wogan in Terry Wogan’s dog (Rousse)
  375. Virginia Woolf in Belle and the (bad) Woolf
  376. Tomsk Womble in Tomsk Womble halts divorce proceedings (Rousse)
  377. Helen Worth in Coronation Street actress disposes of murder evidence (Rousse)
  378. Yes in Yes offers treats for tweeting (Rousse)
  379. Will Young in Belle the heiress and a clumsy Will Young
  380. Mark Zuckerberg in Mark Zuckerberg vents anger at Harvard in Simpsons episode (Rousse)

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