Author Archives: Dreamaticus

The Emperor of China, Tom Forrest, an absent wife, and a widower (Rousse)

Ancient tradition in China required the donning of a long black robe (similar to an academic gown) whenever the emperor visited. Every day during my imprisonment I was on standby for this eventuality. Meanwhile I joined in with the activities … Continue reading

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Ducks and drowning risk in city centre (Rousse)

I’d craved a sea view for years and now I had one – almost. When we woke at 05:00am to the blast of morning television from the flat upstairs TPR and I had no option but to get up and … Continue reading

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Phil Collins’ Ghostbusters dance (Rousse)

Phil Collins danced with joy as I watched Ghostbusters on a decrepit VHS tape. Afterwards I took the dog into town to find TPR’s abandoned bike. When I returned home to the White House I annoyed my sister J. She … Continue reading

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Love strikes in the City of London (Belle)

My advanced tea-making skills had attracted the attention of a handsome young suitor but I knew this was not enough to ensure our long-term compatibility.  I was more interested in the older gentleman I had met in the exquisite and … Continue reading

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Cheese throwing with Billy Connolly (Rousse)

Although the purpose of the exercise was unclear, I enjoyed an afternoon of ‘cheese chucking’ with Billy Connolly and BP. The concept was simple. All you had to do was throw lumps of cheese up onto a high shelf. I … Continue reading

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Arthur Lowe and the Penis Olympics (Belle)

It seemed I had – at last – achieved my lifetime goal.  I was the passenger in a sweet, vintage car and it was the 1970s.  Arthur Lowe was taking me to the shops in Catford, having proposed to me … Continue reading

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A bathroom for every bedroom in Edinburgh’s Victoria Street accommodation (Rousse)

I visited AC in his Victoria Street flat. None of us had ever been there before, although TPR had once peered into the sitting room and concluded that this was the extent of the apartment. This was on the basis … Continue reading

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