Having lied to an old school friend (telling her I was married), wildfire rumours were spreading about me. 

Apparently I was married to a renowned wife beating thug called A and the girls at my hall of residence were gossiping about how I had let down myself, the college and ‘all women’.

I decided to confess I had lied but to explain that I was undertaking ‘rumour research’.  The girls should look out for my new book on this subject.  I was an expert in the field.