Monthly Archives: September 2011

Single women looking for men, and a new line in hot tubs (Rousse)

TPR and GJ were sewn into a two-man Black Watch tartan straight-jacket. Forced together so closely, the dancing tutor believed this would speed up the process of teaching them the moves for the forthcoming ball. Neither was particularly charmed by … Continue reading

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Commuting by ‘Fawlty Towers’ ocean liner (Belle)

The ocean liner departure hall was overcrowded and really confusing, yet still I refused to ask for help. I only wanted to travel as far as Hatfield, but I didn’t know if my ship would be departing from the north- … Continue reading

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Belle ‘bottles’ Great British Bake Off

Newly released from prison, I had unexpectedly made it to the semi-finals of The Great British Bake Off. And now here I was, trying to knead dough on a cluttered work surface in C’s kitchen. It was my first visit … Continue reading

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Lost Shakespeare play: Rousse plays the leading lady

Two gorgeous knights of the realm were fighting over me – with swords! One was my lover. The other was the Duke of Northumberland, determined to win me as his own. I buried my face in the right shoulder of … Continue reading

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Judge Judy and some Hollywood greats (Belle)

I was astonished to learn that my best friend’s boyfriend was taking me to Judge Judy’s court for non-payment of a yoga class fee. I burst into his hotel room and told him, in a stream of obscenities, exactly what … Continue reading

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Regrets of Mrs Harry Potter (Rousse)

Although I was now immensely rich, the downside of life as Mrs Harry Potter was the complete loss of privacy following our marriage.

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Cornwall via Northampton International (Belle)

As I looked into the bay, I saw an EasyJet plane parked alongside a few outbuildings. I asked my guide what I was looking at and she said, “oh, that’s Northampton International Airport”. Things had really changed around here – … Continue reading

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